Derailed
by Kaat ShadowLover
Summary: Spock and Kirk met once as teenagers. Afterwards, Kirk found he was pregnant. What did he do?


Disclaimer: I don't own them. I wish I did, because then Kirk and Spock would have kissed in the movie and not Spock and Uhura.

Warnings: mpreg, underaged sex if 16 is underaged in your part of the world.

A/N: This was written for the prompt: Teenage!Spock/teenage!Kirk mpreg, Jim only telling Spock after their first mission together.

**Derailed**

Jim really didn't understand why they were doing this. Sure, fine, his dad was the fucking martyred hero of Starfleet and his mom was an officer in said organization. So why did that mean he had to take the stupid tour of Starfleet Academy given to prospective students? He already had his plans for next year. He'd been given a scholarship to college based on his grades, aptitude tests, and the fact that he was graduating two years early, at sixteen. They had even seemed impressed with how much he'd improved academically after his mom had finally wised up, ditched his loser stepdad Frank, and gotten Jim into a counseling program (and after almost four years, he could admit it had helped him resolve a lot of issues). So yeah, he had his immediate future well mapped out. So why was he here? Oh yeah, because his mother had business at Starfleet Headquarters and thought this would be a great way for him to spend an afternoon.

Looking around the group of people he was taking the tour with, he could tell that he was probably the only one who had been forced into this. The faces beside him were all enraptured, hanging on every word their guide said. He snorted to himself. None of them were more than a year or so older than he was but they had obviously fallen for the grand adventures recruiting speeches. He would bet his motorcycle that at least one person in the group was joining because they'd been inspired by the heroic sacrifice of George Kirk. What would they say if they knew his son was right here among them?

Just about the only other person who didn't seem thrilled was the tourguide himself. There could be several reasons or that. The cadet was young, he was probably a first year, so he'd only been at the Academy for seven or eight months himself. Most likely, this was the sort of duty given to those low on the totem pole and the cadet knew it. Possibly he'd given so many of these things that he knew the whole spiel by rote. Of course, he could have been enjoying himself immensely and Jim wouldn't know it because the cadet was a Vulcan and Jim knew enough about other species to know that Vulcans didn't show emotion.

Jim allowed himself to ignore what the Vulcan was saying and focus on the cadet himself. He had introduced himself at the beginning of the tour but Jim hadn't been paying too much attention, focusing more on how much he didn't want to be here. Now, however, Jim let his eyes wander over the form in front of him. The cadet was tall, but had the thin coltish look of someone who is still growing into his full height. Jim didn't know enough about Vulcan biology to use that for an estimate of his age. He had silky black hair, cut short, with even bangs across his forehead. The length revealed his ears which were the most obvious bit of alien about him as they tapered to gentle points. His eyes were a dark brown, almost black, and his skin was sallow in a way that would have been unhealthy on a Human, but just looked natural on him. He had a rich baritone voice and Jim almost regretted not paying more attention to what it was saying. Overall, he was exotic, but very attractive.

As if noticing the gaze upon him, the Vulcan turned and caught sight of Jim, their eyes meeting. Jim could swear that something electric jumped between them but he knew he had to have been imagining that. Sure, he was attracted, but what were the odds that the Vulcan was too? Pretty damn low, most likely. Of course, as he was musing about this (and attempting to actually calculate the odds, just for kicks, even though he didn't know enough about the variables), he didn't notice that the group was starting to break up and the Vulcan had moved towards him.

"You were not paying attention."

Well, _that_ certainly snapped him back to himself. He looked up to find the cadet directly in front of him. Jim was perhaps an inch shorter, but it was easy to stare into the other's eyes.

"Ah, no, I really didn't see the point, as I won't be coming here."

One elegant eyebrow rose up. "Indeed. Then might I inquire as to why you joined the tour in the first place?"

"Oh, well you see, my mom's busy at Starfleet Headquarters and thought it was best if I was in some kind of structured activity, with people my own age."

"Your mother is a member of Starfleet, then."

"Yeah, a Lieutenant Commander. She's stationed at the Riverside Shipyard in Iowa. That's where we live."

The eyebrow went on another journey. Jim was finding it quite fun to watch.

"May I inquire as to why you do not wish to enter Starfleet yourself? I have noticed that it is quite common for the offspring of officers to join as well."

"I don't want to be compared to my father." Jim found he was very comfortable with revealing to this man parts of himself that he wouldn't tell anyone else. He wondered why.

"Fascinating. Your father, you said, not your mother. May I infer that he is also in Starfleet?"

"Was. My dad was George Kirk." Now it was out there. Jim knew the reaction he'd get from a human: awe, excitement, enthusiasm. Would the Vulcan be the same? After all, he was in Starfleet himself, so he must have some admiration for it's heroes.

The Vulcan however, only nodded. "I understand. You do not wish to live, in the shadow I believe is the expression, of a famous and accomplished parent. I, too, have no intention of being judged by anyone's abilities other than my own. This is, in fact, one of the reasons I joined Starfleet."

Jim grinned, "Hey, that's cool. We've got something in common. If I may ask," he had the feeling that a more formal speech pattern would be better received due to how the Vulcan himself was speaking, "which parent's shadow are you trying to escape from?"

"My father as well. He is the Vulcan Ambassador Sarek." There was a pause and then, "I am Spock."

"Jim Kirk. Please to meet you." Jim put out his hand but then pulled it back abortively. "I'm sorry. Is it true Vulcans don't like to be touched?"

"We avoid casual touch, yes, as we are touch telepaths. It has nothing to do with likes or dislikes, merely a logical precaution against the unprepared-for thoughts of others. Most nontelepathic species, such as Humans, do not have mental shields as they have never needed them."

Jim nodded, "Makes sense to me. Look, my mom's going to be tied up until late tonight, so I've got some time. Are you busy?"

"I am unoccupied for the next 6.3 hours, at which time I have a class in which my presence is required."

"Not asking you to skip, but since you're free, well, you're fun to talk to, and I haven't met a Vulcan before, so this is a new experience, and, well, do you play chess?"

There went that eyebrow again. Jim blushed at his uncharcateristic babbling, but Spock didn't seem to be offended or anything. In fact, he was nodding. "Yes, I find the game intellectually stimulating. I have a set in my quarters and as you indicated that you are here temporarily, it is logical that we continue our converstaion there."

They turned and started walking in the direction of the dorms. "Lay on, MacDuff."

"MacBeth. Act five, scene eight. You are telling me to show you where to go. But my name is not MacDuff."

Jim laughed. "Spock, let me teach you about Human idioms. You're living on Earth, you're going to need to get used to them."

Spock sighed, very slightly. "I have already realized that Human speech is made up of highly illogical phrases that say and mean entirely different things."

"There's not much that's logical about Humans."

"Indeed."

When they reached Spock's dorm room, they were deep in a discussion about metaphors versus similes. The heat of the room hit Jim almost physically, it was so palpable. Spock noticed immediately. "My apologies. I keep my room temperature at the Vulcan norm for my comfort and health. This is why I was allowed a single, even though first year cadets are supposed to have roommates. There was no other cadet in my year who had the physiological need for such a difference from the usual dorm settings. I will make adjustments immediately."

"Thanks, but just a few degrees is fine, just so the heat isn't so overwhelming. I don't want to freeze you out of your own room."

Spock nodded as he set the controls of the wall unit. "A compromise then. That is logical." When he was finished he gestured for Jim to take one of the two chairs by a small table, atop which sat a beautiful 3-D chess set. Jim openly admired it.

"You want white or black?"

"You are my guest. Therefore, I shall take black."

They played twice through, each winning once, both admiring the other's skill. They kept the conversation flowing and it ranged over many topics, skipping from one to the next. They were just starting their third game when Jim reached for a piece before Spock had fully removed his hand from the board. Their fingers brushed together and suddenly, they both grew silent as they stared into the other's eyes.

Swallowing, Jim pulled his hand back. After a moment, Spock did the same. Jim cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

He never got to finish as Spock uncharacteristically interrupted him. "You are attracted to me."

"Ah, yeah, um, I..."

"I find myself attracted to you as well. Logically, since you are only in this area for a short time, we should make use of that time to explore this mututal attraction. I have not yet had sexual relations with a Human. I find I am curious. Would this course of action be satisfactory to you?"

Jim blinked a few times, stunned. "Um, well, yeah!"

"I believe this activity would be more appropraite on the bed. Shall we move?"

Jim nodded, wide-eyed, and stood, following Spock to the corner of the room where the bed was located. Spock started to remove his clothing so Jim followed suit. When they were both down to just pants, Jim leaned over and kissed Spock, who stilled. "I am not familiar with this gesture."

"It's called a kiss. It's something Humans do when they're having sex or when they're showing affection."

"There is obviously much for me to learn. Logically, when learning new activities, one should practice." Spock initiated the next kiss. When he pulled back, there was a very slight smile playing on his lips. "This kiss, I find it enjoyable." With that, he reached towards Jim and tugged him gently to the mattress.

* * *

Two months later, Jim woke up nauseated yet again. It had been going on for alomst two weeks now and there was a rising apprehension in the back of mind. He wasn't sure what type of illness he'd contracted, but it couldn't be good, not with ongoing symptoms that were worsening instead of abating. Once he'd slowly gotten dressed, he headed down to talk with his mother.

Winona was also alarmed about her son's recurring nausea and called the family doctor for an immediate consult. Jim could afford to miss a day of school, especially this close to graduation, but she wasn't going to take chances with her son's health. Doctor Matthews had an opening in just under an hour, so she and Jim got into the flitter and headed downtown.

The doctor performed a thorough physical and took some blood to run some tests. When Jim had first described his symptoms, the doctor's eyes eyes had narrowed in recognition and then clouded in confusion, not easing the mind of the worried young man. Jim had gone back and joined his mother in the waiting room. After half an hour, the doctor invited Jim into his office, asking if he wanted privacy or if Winona should accompany him. Already worried, Jim felt the need for his mother's support, and so assured the doctor that she was welcome to join them.

After reaching the office, they all sat down, Matthews behind his desk and Jim and Winona in front of it. The doctor steepled his hands, "Well, we know what's causing your nausea, Jim. It's not an illness but it is serious." He paused and then took a breath. "Jim, you're pregnant."

Winona was silent in shock and Jim just sat, unable to say anything. He'd known, of course, that it was possible for him to become pregnant. After World War III, a mutation had begun appearing in a small percent of the world's population. The male birthing gene, as it was known (and Jim was under the opinion that there was no group anywhere with less creativity in naming things than scientists), affected a minority of Human males, though that percentage was slowly growing. It allowed a male to produce ova, become pregnant, and carry a child to term, although not in entirely the same way as females. Over the last two hundred years, there had been many cases of men with the male birthing gene conceiving and successfully carrying a child to term.

Jim had known all his life that he was one of this minority; the gene had shown up during genetic testing while Winona was still pregnant. During sex education, he'd had special classes along with two other boys in the school who also had the gene. But he'd practiced safe sex with the few partners he'd had, male and female.

Except...he remembered the very fun evening two months previous, with the Vulcan cadet, Spock. They'd tried several different positions and had exhausted each other. Afterwards, when Spock had withdrawn from Jim's body, they'd noticed the condom had broken, but since they'd assured each other they were clean of diseases, that had been it. Jim hadn't been worried because he also had a contraceptive implant that was specifically made to counter both his forms of procreation. But in that case, "What about the implant, doctor?"

The doctor sighed, "That's what took me so long. Once I determined you were pregnant, I researched the implant. Just recently, there have been some lawsuits against the company that produced it, citing product failure. I'm sorry, but that's what seems to be the case here." He allowed that to sink in. "Now, there are several options here, if you'd like to discuss them."

Jim abruptly stood up. "I think I need a few days to let this sink in. That'll be fine, right? Just a few days?"

The doctor nodded, "I'll schedule you for another appointment in three days. We'll discuss what you might choose to do then."

Winona stood as well, offering her hand, "Thank you, Doctor, we'll see you in three days then." And she followed her son out the door.

* * *

Jim agonized over this revelation. He was pregnant. At sixteen. What was he going to do? An abortion was out of the question. Even if the child wasn't very developed yet, even if Jim had only just learned of its existence, it was already an entity in his mind. An entity that he would not sacrifice for his own convenience. Adoption? It would be easiest. The baby was due in mid December, so he'd have to delay his entry into college, but only by a semester. But he found that the more he thought of it, the more he didn't want his child to be raised by a stranger. Jim discovered that, despite how difficult it was going to be, he wanted this child.

When he and Winona returned to Dr. Matthews' office, Jim proclaimed his decision to keep the baby. Winona hugged him, telling him that they'd find a way. Dr. Matthews outlined the prenatal care regimen and recommended two different obstetricians, both of whom were versed in caring for pregnant males. It would be up to Jim to meet them and pick one to be his doctor for the duration.

The pregnancy proceeded to virtually follow the textbook with no difficulties popping up. There had been some concern when Jim had revealed that the other father was Vulcan, but those worries proved to be unfounded. During the summer, Jim's brother Sam came home from college with his girlfriend Aurelan and both developed a tendency to spoil Jim and motherhen him. Winona, by contrast, was having a complete ball getting things ready in the house for her coming grandchild, and let Jim fare mostly for himself.

Jim had withdrawn from college, though he did start researching local options for later down the line. Most of his time, however, was taken up on learning what could be expected in having a baby. He devoured childcare books and celebrated every milestone in his pregnancy. Also, he was determined that his child would know both sides of its heritage so he began finding every source he could on Vulcan culture and biology. Plus, of course, he had a name list that seemed to just keep growing.

On a brisk day in December, Jim went into labor. The male birthing gene allowed for a natural birth, but it was the most dangerous part of male pregnancies. Medical technology made a cesarean a much safer option and so that was how Jim's daughter was born. She seemed mostly Human, with red blood and a normal heartrate. But instead of newborn blue, her eyes were almost black, and her ears ended in the tiniest little points. She was beautiful.

He named her Lara, which meant protection, but was also the name of a bright blue desert bird on Vulcan. Her middle name was Amanda, which meant beloved, because she was. "Lara Amanda Kirk," he whispered as he first held her. "Welcome to the world."

* * *

Lara was, for the most part, a fairly normal baby for the first months of her life. That is to say, she drove her father completely nuts and didn't let him get much sleep. Jim had new appreciation for his mother having raised both himself and his brother as a single parent for years. And he had appreciation beyond measure for how much she helped him out with Lara. He was certain that if it wasn't for Winona, he would have gone insane from sleep deprivation.

As his daughter grew, Jim's problem wasn't so much that he was missing sleep, it was that even with the sleep he got, he didn't have the energy to keep up with her, and she was barely crawling! What would it be like when she could walk? Or, worse yet, run! He was a teenager! He was supposed to have energy to spare! Then how did this baby, as beautiful and wonderful as she was, manage to completely exhaust him when she still napped for a good portion of the day?

Speech came quickly, much faster than he'd expected, but he thought it might be her Vulcan genes. Of course, it could be that she was insanely intelligent, which he suspected she was and not just because he was her father and had to believe the best of her. After all, he himself was a genius, and her other father was of a species renowned for their intelligence. Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised when she went from the few odd words (and yes, he'd done a small celebration dance when she'd first said "Daddy") directly to complete sentences.

Of course, being able to talk didn't actually make her easier to handle. If anything, it made her worse. Lara was very stubborn and very determined that she get her way. Jim learned very quickly that taking her out to eat was an exercise in futility. She invariably annoyed everyone within earshot (and seriously, he knew the size of her lungs, they shouldn't be that powerful), embarrassed him, and caused him to get everything packaged to go and leave quickly so as not to disturb others' dining experiences.

Luckily, she grew fast, she was extremely intelligent, and her Vulcan genes must have predisposed her to understanding the idea of acting with decorum in public. He was convinced that last had to be the Vulcan genes. It certainly didn't come from him nor, his mother assured him, from anyone else in the family.

It was also lucky that the summer after she was born, Sam had graduated, proposed to Auleran, and moved into an aprtment with her just minutes away from the farmhouse. Also luckily, Aurelan loved Lara and viewed watching her as some sort of practice for having her own children, which she seemed to already be planning. Jim suddenly had another babysitter. This allowed him to take classes at the local college, focussing on computer engineering.

Lara's intelligence became more and more obvious as she grew. Jim came home from class one day when she was three to find her standing in front of her little child-sized easel and very carefully drawing large numbers on it. She rushed into his arms for a hug and babbled excitedly that two plus two and two times two were the same thing, but that was the only number it worked with and wasn't that so neat? She wasn't even in kindergarten yet and Jim suddenly realised that she'd probably need advanced classes.

Another incident that underscored this need was about six months later. Aurelan was pregnant after only being married a year and, not wanting to explain this to Lara until a little later on, when they talked in front of her, they spelled things out to prevent her from understanding. They found out that she actually did understand when she handed Aurelan her old baby blanket, saying matter-of-factly that it was for the new baby. It was touching, but it made them all stop and think.

School, when it started, presented its own problems. Winona had set up playdates with other children in town and Jim had dutifully taken Lara to them. He found that that he was the youngest parent by at least five years, and had nothing in common with any of the others, though Lara had enjoyed herself immensely. Aurelan had happily taken over that responsibility. In these playdates, however, the children were a little too young to start the teasing that all children go through. School was a different matter. Lara went to a school for gifted children so her intelligence didn't make her stand out much. Her ears were another story. They had grown from cute little pixie ears when she was a baby to her only visible, fully Vulcan feature. Even in a class that had several non-Human students, she was singled out because she was similar but not quite the same. Jim had found her in tears several times because of teasing.

Children mocking children is natural, however, and while Jim didn't like that his little girl was being hurt, he knew the experience wasn't something they could avoid. Adults mocking children, however, was something entirely different, and not all Humans accepted alien species easily. Jim's juvenile record (because really, how could you drive a car off a cliff and _not_ get into trouble?) was sealed, but he earned himself a new record with several fights he had with those who thought saying crass and insulting comments about his daughter was a great idea. The man who had caused Lara to ask him what a whore was (in reference to Jim, not herself) ended up in the emergency room and that particular incident earned Jim a week-long stay in lock-up. Lara had been so horrified and scared of him getting arrested again that Jim learned to tone down his reactions (his mother called it "maturing," but he resisted that explanation) and started to either walk away or fight back with words rather than his fists. He also signed up for several self-defense classes, so if a situation like that did happen again, he'd be better prepared.

At eighteen, Jim started a new annual tradition. Or rather, he adapted one he already had. Since the anniversary of his father's death was also his own birthday, Jim had never honored his father on that day, preferring to focus on his own celebration. Instead, he honored George Kirk and his sacrifice on George's birthday. When he was young, Jim would draw pictures of his life and his mother would bring him to the small memorial the town had had constructed where he would leave the pictures so his father would know what was happening in the life of his son. As Jim grew older, and his mother stayed offworld for longer, he continued the visits but stopped drawing pictures, preferring to quietly talk to his father about his life. When he turned eighteen, he added a visit to a bar after the one to the memorial. It was the only day in the year he allowed himself to get drunk. Sam and Aurelan kept Lara with them on those nights.

On his fifth year doing this, he tried flirting (though he was drunk enough that his technique was pretty heavy-handed) with a young woman in a Starfleet cadet's uniform. After Lara had come into his life, his social life hadn't died, and he certainly didn't stay celibate, but his options were more limited than they would have been if he didn't have a child to think of (plus, there was his mother's "maturing" argument, but he still refused to consider that). He didn't quite understand how flirting had gotten him into a full-fledged bar brawl, but the outcome was even more unexpected.

Captain Pike seemed to be less aware of Jim's life than he made out to be. "Genius level repeat offender" indeed. As if he had more than a few arrests for assault, all of which had been provoked. As if he hadn't just received his degree in computer engineering a few months prior. As if getting drunk wasn't only a once-a-year ritual for him. Just who did this Captain Pike think he was? Daring Jim to do better than his father. As if being compared to his father wasn't the reason Jim had decided not to join Starfleet in the first place. And how was Jim supposed to just head to the Academy for years, and then to space? He had a daughter. He wasn't going to leave her.

Nevertheless, the idea wouldn't leave his mind. When he'd been with Spock on that one afternoon in March all those years ago, he'd been sure that he would never join Starfleet, never wanted to be known only as "the hero's son." But he'd grown up a lot since then. He wasn't sixteen anymore. He was different now, had different motivations. He found that he didn't care about being compared to George Kirk. He was proud of the man and he had his own talents, his own skills to offer.

But there was Lara to consider. How could he leave her? Even if he managed to bring her with him to San Francisco, and caring for her while attending the Academy would be difficult at best, there was still the issue of what to do when he was assigned to a ship. That's when he realized he was planning as if he'd already joined, as if it was inevitable that he was leaving and he just needed to find a way to fit Lara into those plans. He turned his bike towards the house Sam and Aurelan had bought before Peter was born a year ago. Sam and Aurelan would still be up, it wasn't that late, but he would be waking up Lara. Well, it couldn't be helped. If he had to talk to anyone about this before 0800 tomorrow, it was his daughter.

Pulling his motorcycle into the driveway, Jim was relieved to see the lights on. He'd been right, Sam and Aurelan were still up. At least he wasn't waking up the entire household. The door opened for him just as he climbed the stairs; Sam must have heard the motorcycle's engine. Jim was met with a questioning look that slowly turned to worry and a little horror as Sam took in what Jim looked like. Blood on his shirt and all over his face, an eye puffy.

"Christ, Jim, what happened, a shuttle hit you?"

Jim just shook his head and edged past Sam into the house. "Has Lara been asleep long?"

"No, just an hour or so. What's going on?"

"I need to talk to Lara. Well, you and Aurelan too, and maybe we should call Mom, ask her to come over, but mostly I need to talk to Lara."

Sam nodded, his face clearly showing that he didn't understand what was going on. "I'll call Mom. You clean up before we wake Lara. You look terrible, you'll scare her."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Jim headed to the bathroom to wash the blood off his face while Sam went to the kitchen to call their mother and tell Aurelan what was happening, not that he really knew either. Forty-five minutes later, the family was gathered in the living room, Sam and Aurelan on the couch, Winona in the rocking chair that had been passed down through the family, and Kirk sitting in a cushy armchair, a slowly awakening Lara on his lap.

Jim started by looking at his mother. "Mom, do you remember a Captain Pike?"

Winona looked startled. "Chris? Sure. He interviewed me about the Kelvin and your father when he was doing his dissertation for the Academy. You were young enough that I doubt you'd remember. He's kept in contact, though not regularly. I haven't heard from him in about a year or so."

"Well, he's in town and," Jim paused, trying to frame in his mind how he wanted to say this, and then opting for the direct approach. "He wants me to join Starfleet."

If he expected his mother to be shocked, he was disappointed. She nodded knowingly. "You'd be good there. And they could certainly use you."

Sam and Aurelan had more predictable reactions. They stared at each other, somehow communicating and then Aurelan was the one who spoke. "Jim, this is a huge decision. San Francisco is pretty far away and Starfleet operates in space. You should think about it, weigh your options."

Jim laughed, "He told me if I wanted to join that there was a shuttle leaving at eight tomorrow morning."

Aurelan's eyes grew wide. "That's so fast! Does he expect you to just drop your whole life?"

"I got the impression he doesn't actually think I have a life. I just, I think I want to do this, but it's so huge and so fast, and you're right, I can't just get on a shuttle and head to the Academy as if I didn't have anything else to think about." His armed tightened a little around his daughter.

Lara wiggled a bit, pulling herself away from her father enough so she could look up at him. "Daddy? I think you should go."

Everyone stared at her in shock, but Jim was the first to find his voice. "Why's that, sweetheart?"

"You feel happy when you think of going there. And you wouldn't've got me up if you didn't already want to."

"I _feel_ happy?"

"Yeah, all tingly in my mind."

Now, the Kirks had known that Lara was extremely sensitive to the moods of people around her. They'd even theorized that one of the reasons she well-behaved was that she knew when she embarrassed, disappointed, or angered them and didn't like doing that. They'd discussed it among themselves, knowing about Vulcans being touch telepaths. Since it had seemed more unconscious than anything else, they had decided to wait before getting her tested. Apparently, it wasn't as unconscious a skill as they thought.

"I'm happy with you, sweetheart, and I don't want to leave you. I'd have to if I join Starfleet."

Lara nodded, her long, straight honey-blonde hair swaying slightly as she did so. "I know you're happy with me. I know you love me. I don't want you to leave, but this is good for you. Grandma thinks so and you think so. I'd have Grandma and Uncle Sam and Aunt 'Relan and I'm already like Peter's sister, and we could visit all the time, right?"

Jim nodded, still stunned. "How are you so wise at five?"

Lara cocked an eyebrow up, something she had started doing only recently, and he wondered how a gesture could possibly be genetic. "You're silly, Daddy. This just makes sense."

Sam blinked, getting over his shock. "She's right, Jim. Aurelan and I would love taking her in, giving Peter a big sister. And San Francisco's just a few hours away by transit shuttle, and we could even afford the occasional transporter time. We could see you at least twice a month."

Winona smiled, a little sadly perhaps. "You weren't ready when you were younger, but you are now. You have so much of your father in you. Starfleet makes the most sense. Get some sleep, catch that shuttle, and we'll send your things. We can even meet you there in a day or so to help you move in."

Jiim smiled widely, hugging his daughter to him, basking in the love of his family. "I'll make you all proud."

He didn't actually get that much sleep, as Lara woke him up very early for a special goodbye breakfast. He chose staying with her longer over getting a change of clothes so when he headed towards the Shipyard, it was in the same blood-stained shirt from the night before. When he arrived, he realized that he hadn't made provisions for his motorcycle. Oh well, it wasn't as if he'd need it where he was going and neither Sam nor Winona would want it. And Aurelan had always faintly disapproved of his having it, though not enough to actually say anything. Well, she would be happy he wasn't keeping it, he thought as he tossed the keys to some guy admiring it. Then he boarded the shuttle.

* * *

When Jim first met Leonard McCoy, he knew he'd found a good friend. The doctor was grouchy, sarcastic, suffered fools loudly and creatively, and was the most compassionate man Jim had ever known. It helped that they bonded over being outcasts in the new Academy class. Not only had they both arrived in completely nonstandard ways, but they were both older than the rest of the incoming class as well. The five year age difference between twenty-two and twenty-seven seemed a whole lot less than the four year difference between twenty-two and eighteen. And if the other cadets seemed young to _Jim_, he didn't want to know how old McCoy felt.

At first, Jim hadn't spoken of Lara, not even to McCoy. He had her picture up on his desk but no one bothered to ask who she was. One study partner had assumed she was a younger sister and Jim hadn't bothered to correct him. But when he found Bones, as he'd started calling McCoy, getting drunk one night and mumbling about a daughter named Joanna, Jim had taken out his wallet pictures of Lara, sat down beside the man, and proceeded to complain about how much of her life he was missing. After that night, the two men were best friends, never to be found far from the other during their free time (not that there was much of _that_).

Jim even started inviting Bones to come out with him and Lara on the weekends Sam or Winona would bring her to the city. He always met them off campus and if everyone assumed that the "special girl" he was seeing was a different one each time, well, he hadn't ever confirmed or denied the rumor, and it did wonders for the reputation he had apparently obtained.

On their weekends together, Jim and Lara would explore the city. And not just the tourist traps but the overlooked shops, the "local" restaurants, the smaller residential parks. Sometimes Bones joined them, sometimes he declined the offer, saying it was better for the two of them to spend time alone together. Jim couldn't say he was sorry for that either. He enjoyed the Academy, was, in fact, thriving in the new environment, but his heart would always belong to the wonder that was his daughter.

Sometime in Jim's second year, when Lara was seven, her telepathy grew enough that they had to search for someone to teach her how to control it. Jim managed to find a Vulcan Healer who had emigrated to Earth for reasons that were her own. T'Pina agreed to teach Lara what she called the Mind Rules. From then on, Lara came to San Francisco every weekend, but spent several hours each Saturday studying with T'Pina. Evidently, her telepathic sensitivity was on the low end of average for Vulcans, so she did not need anything more than the basics, which she learned by the beginning of Jim's third (and final) year at the Academy.

At that point, Bones had managed to get his ex-wife to agree to limited visitation with Joanna and so, about once a month, the four of them spent a day together in the city. Joanna was younger than Lara by about a year, but they took to each other immediately. Joanna had obviously inherited (or learned) her father's sarcasm and Lara countered that with a dry wit she came by honestly, as Jim's sense of humor certainly tended to the dry side and he remembered that Spock's had been similar. Such days out always seemed to end at the same restaurant, one that overlooked the sea lions in the harbor. Both Lara and Joanna were fascinated by the adorable, obnoxiously loud animals.

As spring began and graduation loomed, Jim had to start thinking about what assignment he might request. While new officers didn't always get the berth they requested, Jim was at the top of his class and had a very good chance of getting whatever posting he asked for. The question was, should he try to stay on Earth, which would probably mean a deskjob with little hope of advancement, sign up for the short missions that would allow him to come home frequently but were little more than milk-runs and quite boring, or should he go for deep space exploration? The last was what he was best suited for, and what best suited him, he knew, but it was also the posting that would take him away from Earth for possibly years at a time. He entered the final round of Command testing still unsure.

* * *

Jim really hadn't ever expected to see Spock again. The man had been a cadet nine years ago and should, in all probability, have been assigned to a ship at this point. Jim had never thought he'd be an instructor at the Academy. An instructor Jim hadn't encountered in all the time he'd been there (though he assumed in his defense that Spock had not actually been teaching at the Academy for all three years of Jim's time there. If he had, he never would have risen to the rank of Commander.).

Now Jim stood in front of the Academic Board, accused of cheating, and Spock was his accuser. In all fairness, he had thought that what he'd done on the Kobayashi Maru might have this consequence, but he'd been prepared for that. He'd studied the test before he hacked it. He truly felt that what he'd done was a valid response and he was prepared to defend his actions. But now, face to face with Spock, all those arguments he'd readied fell away and he was left grasping for words.

Spock did not appear to recognize him at all and, all right, it had been nine years, almost exactly in fact, and Jim had been young enough and had changed enough that perhaps he could understand why Spock didn't recognize him. They'd only known each other for that one afternoon after all. But that afternoon had started with them bonding over not wanting to follow their fathers' paths. And Spock certainly knew who Jim's father had been now, as he was throwing it in Jim's face, causing Jim to stop himself from physically drawing back. How then, could he not remember Jim?

Jim himself had never forgotten Spock. Of course, he'd had a very present reminder, first in his pregnancy and then in Lara. But he fondly remembered his time with Spock. They'd been able to converse freely, had intellectually challenged each other, and the sex had been incredible. Jim remembered that afternoon with perfect clarity. How then could this Vulcan, a member of a species known for their intellect and trained memories, be able to forget him? Had he truly been _that_ forgettable? Had the wonderful companionship that Jim recalled so fondly not meant anything to Spock?

It was these thoughts, not the proceedings or the badly going debate, that caused Jim to be almost in shock as people started to stream out of the auditorium. It was these thoughts, the thoughts that maybe the Spock he'd known, the Spock he remembered, was someone he'd made up, someone he'd twisted his memory to conjure, that caused him to ask Bones who he was. It was the sense of resentment that caused him to tack on the imprecation bastard. When Bones responded with "I don't know, but I like him," Jim just wanted to whimper. He barely kept his mouth closed over the "So did I" that wanted to crawl out.

* * *

The next few days passed by so quickly that Jim didn't have time to think about anything else but what was happening right then. There wasn't time to spare to wonder about why Spock didn't remember him, whether he should tell Spock about Lara, or if he should keep her to himself. When he met the older Spock, the one from a different timeline, a timeline where he'd known his father and become Captain of the Enterprise and, presumably, not been a single teenage parent, he spared a very quick minute to wonder how _this_ Spock would have reacted if _his_ Captain had carried their child, for he had sensed, but could only barely comprehend, the depth of feeling that this Spock felt for his Captain, his friend. Jim despaired in ever having that type of connection with _his_ Spock. _His_ Spock, who did not remember him, who seemed to truly hate him, whose reaction to their daughter could not be predicted. But time was short and necessity won out, and Jim had to put those thoughts out of his mind if he was going to do what he had to do in order to save Earth, to save _Lara_.

When it was all over, when Earth was saved and the Narada was destroyed, the Enterprise limped back home. With the ejection of the warp core, the ship was essentially crippled. They weren't very far from Earth's solar system, but they were far enough that the impulse drive alone would take several days to traverse the distance. It was all they had. Those three and half days were still filled with things to do. Sickbay was overwhelmed and every crewmember with medical training was pushed into service. Those without it were pushed into service in Engineering and Maintenance, attempting to fix the worst of the damage so that all of them on the ship wouldn't be the last casualties to Nero's insane revenge. There were Vulcan refugees to organize, though it was heartbreaking to see just how few they'd been able to transport up in those last desperate minutes. Despite all this, despite Captain Pike being unconscious in Sickbay so that Jim remained nominally in command, he still had time to mull over the problem that Spock presented.

Should he tell Spock about Lara? He had decided that yes, Spock deserved to know. Jim hadn't told him nine years ago that he was pregnant. He'd been young and he'd thought that since it was his own mistake, not Spock's, Spock shouldn't bear the consequences. And while Jim's plans for his life had only been put on hold, Spock would have had to choose between his career and a child he hadn't even realized had been possible. Now that Jim was older, now that Lara had been in his life for over eight years, he understood that Spock should have at least been able to have that choice, that Jim shouldn't have made it for him.

Well, he'd have the choice now. Jim didn't think Spock would choose him. Oh, he might decide to spend time with Lara, to teach her more than Jim could about Vulcan culture, especially now that it was so important that that culture be preserved, that she understand her heritage. Perhaps there would be a shared custody, such as Bones had for Joanna. But Spock was in a relationship, had moved on with his life. And he must hate Jim. Even if he did remember that afternoon, what they'd shared, what had happened in the last day must surely supercede that memory. Jim hadn't even been able to apologize for what he'd said to cause Spock to lose emotional control, for they'd both been so busy in different parts of the ship that they hadn't even seen each other in passing.

When the Enterprise finally coasted into Earth orbit, it was to the resounding clamor of a planet gone crazy. The media storm was tremendous. The Narada had been above Earth long enough for people to realize that they faced a gigantic threat, even if the enormity of that threat hadn't quite penetrated for most people at the time. But now, days later, when the Enterprise's reports to Starfleet had been made while on her way back to Earth, when the reports of what had happened to Vulcan had hit the newsnets, now people knew how dire the threat they'd been under had been. Now they knew the kind of heroes they were welcoming home.

The shuttles bringing the crew back to Starfleet Headquarters were landed under tight security, but there were still crowds around the landing ports. Most of the crew had contacted their families during the three day voyage home, to let them know who had survived, who was injured but would make it, who had died. They had all lost friends and classmates and, in some instances, family. Starfleet had asked all families of returning cadets and crew not to meet the shuttles, so as not to exacerbate the crowd and the media situation, but to wait at the Academy for their returning loved ones.

Jim knew that Winona, Sam, Aurelan, and Lara would all be there waiting for him, with Peter and his younger brother George left in the care of a sitter. He'd been able to talk to them in the short minutes he'd squeezed a call into. He knew that Uhura's family was waiting for her and that Spock would be busy with his father and the other Vulcans. He would wait for things to calm down, but he knew he couldn't wait for long.

When Starfleet managed to transport them all to the secured Academy grounds, pandemonium reigned. Jim allowed it all to sweep around him, though out of the corner of his eye he caught Bones sweeping Joanna into his arms, but then that was lost because Jim was sweeping his own little girl into a giant hug, holding her tightly and hoping he'd never have to let go. The rest of his family followed, circling him so that he and Lara were at the center of an ecstatic, relieved beyond measure embrace. Jim thought his smile might break his face, it was so large.

The next few days were quiet as the grief set in. Classes were canceled for the time being as Starfleet scrambled to react to the destruction of six ships and their crews plus an entire world. Jim found out where Spock was staying and, after asking his mother, brother, and sister-in-law not to accompany him, took Lara with him for a long overdue meeting.

Spock was not, as Jim thought he might be, staying at the Embassy with his father. Instead, he was in his apartment at the Academy, in the faculty residence hall. Jim had discretely inquired as to his schedule and knew that Spock would be alone at this time. He'd very carefully told Lara that they were meeting her other father but that he didn't know how the man would react as he didn't yet know about Lara. Thankfully, she was old enough and intelligent enough that she understood the concept. Also, she was most likely sensing Jim's nervousness through their linked hands, and wouldn't do anything to increase it.

Jim knocked at the correct door and didn't have to wait long until Spock opened it, an eyebrow rising at the sight of the cadet who had been his captain for so short a time. The eyebrow climbed further when he looked down and saw the child who accompanied said cadet. Jim felt it was lucky that Lara's facial features were Human and that her hair covered her ears.

"Spock, may we come in?"

Spock nodded, stepping to one side and allowing father and daughter to enter. He was a polite host, offering them each something to drink, which they refused, and then indicating some chairs they could sit on. Jim pulled Lara into his lap even though she had, for the past year or so, insisted she was too old for that. This time, she didn't protest.

"Spock, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Lara."

The eyebrow resumed its raised position. "I was not aware that you had offspring. It is an honor to meet you, Miss Kirk." He inclined his head regally. Lara giggled and returned the gesture.

Jim took a deep breath. "Spock, about nine years ago, you were a first year cadet giving a tour of the Academy and you invited one of the tour group back to your room for a game of chess. Do you remember this?"

Spock's expression was blank and Jim wished that Vulcans were a little less emotionally controlled. He didn't have a clue as to what Spock might be thinking. But then Spock nodded, "I do."

"Do you remember who it was?"

"I have not thought of that afternoon in years. As I remember, we were speaking of our mutual fathers..." He trailed off, his eyes widening just a fraction, the only indication of his realization. "It was you."

Jim nodded. "There's something important about that day I have to tell you." He paused, swallowed. "Maybe it's easier to show you." He carded a hand through Lara's hair, lifting it over one ear, displaying the delicate little point.

This time Spock's eyes widened more than a fraction, but he remained silent.

"I always thought she was half-Vulcan. I guess it's actually a quarter." Lara snuggled to Jim's chest, sensing how hard this was for him, not completely understanding all the dynamics, but knowing she wanted to comfort him. He hugged her close. "She's your daughter. Her full name is Lara Amanda Kirk."

Spock's voice was barely a whisper, "Amanda?"

Jim nodded, "It means beloved and I liked it. I didn't realize... Some coincidence, huh?" Spock nodded, silent once again.

"I want to say I'm sorry for what I said on the ship, about your mother." He looked down at the table and then back at Spock. "I've tried to teach Lara about Vulcans, and she's learned a little from her tutor T'Pina, but if there's anything you think is important..." he trailed off. "I'm not doing this right."

Spock stood up and walked to stand by Jim's chair. Then he knelt and looked directly at Lara. "I believe we were not properly introduced. Lara Amanda Kirk, I am Spock cha'Sarek, your father."

Lara smiled brightly. "I'm very happy to meet you."

The very edge of Spock's mouth twitched ever so slightly. "And I...am happy to meet you as well."

**End**

Author's Note: I don't currently have plans for a sequel, but a few comments while I was writing this made me think that maybe a series of drabbles about Lara would be fun. I have a ton of other things going on right now though, so even if I decide to do this, it will probably take a while to get on the actual drawing board.


End file.
